Snow plow . . .

Just now I was driving home from a night of good company and comfort food (thanks Zion), and saw an entourage of flashing lights coming from the hospital parking lot. As I got closer, I realized it wasn't a group of emergency vehicles, but rather about a dozen snow plows and trucks clearing out the parking lot.
A large gravel truck topped full of snow pulled out in front of me, and I followed it for about a block. It pulled into a field where several more tractors were piling the snow into a miniature Mt. Fugi. (sledding anyone?)
Maybe it was the fact that I have had too much time to think without my kids to distract me, or maybe it was the creepy organ music I was listening to (what is it about organ music that makes it inherently creepy?), but the whole scenario caught me off gaurd. I mean, when I go to park in the morning, I take it for granted that the lot will be plowed. Quite frankly, I'd get a little grumpy if it were not. But I was sure feeling grateful that I wasn't the one spending her Sunday night working in the dark and cold (thanks again Zion).
So I guess this is my slightly romanticized thank you to all those who keep our streets and communities up and running.

Ashton pics, and my incredibly talented twin sister.

For those of you who don't know, I have a fraternal twin sister who lives just outside of Salt Lake. When I say "fraternal," I mean that in almost every way. Right now I am thinking about how she is crafty, serendipitous and an excellent entrepreneur. In the past year, she has worked as a "stamping it up" sales associate, created a blog for a local paper company, and opened a photo studio out of her back room. All this while raising twin toddlers of her own. (Yes, she deserves the "make us all feel crumby about how little we accomplish" award.)

Last week, my boys went to play at "Aunt Howy's House," and in a 5 minute oasis where only Ashton was awake, she took a couple beautiful portraits. Now, I could have made life easy and simply posted the portraits themselves, but then I realized that this was my opportunity to blatantly advertise for her. So instead, I included the link to her photography blog. Enjoy!

http://hollyhydephotography.blogspot.com/

SNOW!!! and other random pics

Last March Aukai and I bought some cross country skis, mostly as a way of preserving my sanity in the long winter months. In retrospect, I think he saw it as an investment in his safety.

Regardless of the intent, the result is fabulous! Instead of wanting to crawl into my closet when a storm comes, I can't wait for the snow; I felt like a school girl when I looked outside to see the 1 1/2 feet that dumped down last night. There is nothing like the serene beauty of the glistening trails that Zion and I hit this morning.

The view from our back door.

The boys borrowed matching Buzz Lightyear costumes for a friend's birthday party. They played the role very seriously.

Isaac has a good dose of my introspective distractibility. Only those who truly know me will have any idea what that means, but it may explain why the boy routine takes an hour and a half to finish his breakfast cereal.

Ashtonisms

1. Ashton is such a ham. Recently he has become enamored with his brother's age-appropriate obsession with super-heroes and guns. (Part of that deaing with vulnerability stage.) Ashton doesn't really understand what words like "shoot" and "kill" really mean, but he does understand that they make him feel cool and tough. In keeping with this, he has adopted a toy hockey stick as his "killer gun." Last night he insisted on sleeping with it, with the resultant conversation:

Ashton, eyebrows furrowed in the toughest voice he can muster: "Mom, I shoot de de reindeer." (We had just been singing "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer".)
Me: "The reindeer? But how will Santa get around?"
Ashton: "Santa da de hit Isaac." (Ashton always has 2-4 fragmented "words" thrown into his sentences to make them seem longer.)
Me: "Oh, Ashton, no he didn't. Santa wants to bring you a toy for Christmas, and he needs his reindeer to get around."
Ashton, with a big smile and sheepish chuckle: "Oh.!?!"
*Translation: You should have said so sooner. Such a noble cause certainly deserves exemption from my violent tendencies, even if Santa did hit my brother.*

2. I have been toying with the idea of potty training Ashton. As part of this, I had him sit on the potty last night. He sat for a minute, began shaking himself, looked up at me in frustration, pointied to his penis and exclaimed, "It not working!?!"
This morning I thought we'd give it another try when we first woke up. He was avid that he didn't want to go potty reminding me in a less-than-polite way that "It not work!"
However, much to his delight he was able to go potty within the first minute of sitting on the potty. He looked at me, delighted, and exclaimed, "IT WORKS!" I can only imagine the relief he must feel, after watching his brother and daddy go potty, that his penis too "works."

Just a little warning . . .

I just got home from dropping Aukai and the kids off at the airport. Aukai's mom recently REbroke her ankle, so he is flying out to Oregon to help her while our kids enjoy 10 days of uninterrupted spoiling at my parents' house. I haven't spent more than a couple of nights away from my kids since Isaac was born, and it didn't help me hold back the tears when Isaac looked up at me and said "Mommy, I wish it was only for 2 days."

As I stepped back into my child-worn home and admired the latest magic-marker mural, I was left with a sense of emptiness, wondering what I was going to do without my family . . . and then a delightful cliche jumped into my head . . . "Anything I want to!"

So this is just a little warning that if you see crazy parties, outrageous outfits and a mild obsession for luxuries like trimmed cuticles, shaved legs and adequate sleep, don't fear. The mild-mannered mother you all know and love is still inside and will return, with her children, after the break. But until then . . . party on!

Isaacisms

One of the things I love about Isaac is his inquisitive nature. Additionally, he is fine-tuning his reasoning skills, with often hillarious results. The following are a couple of my favorite "Isaacisms" from the past two days:

1-Isaac and I were talking about where meat comes from and why it is important to not waste or eat excessive amounts of meat. Isaac thought for a minute and responded, "God must have made the plant-eating dinosaurs before the meat-eaters. Otherwise, they wouldn't have anything to eat."

2-Isaac and I were going through baby pics this evening. An hour later he came to me and said, "Mom, I wish some babies would stay little forever, like Ashton was." (I had to smile in agreement)
Me: "Would you like another baby sister or brother?"
Isaac: "Yeah."
Me: "But that means Mommy and Daddy would be very busy taking care of the baby. Babies are lots of work. Would that be OK?"
Isaac: "Yeah . . . Maybe we should get a dog. Are dogs lots of work?"
Me: "Yes Isaac, but not as much as babies. Would you rather have a dog or a baby?"
Isaac: "Both are good."

3-Aukai was teaching Isaac about liquid vs. solid states, using mostly edible liquids as examples. As a result, Isaac started to associate liquid with edible. A few minutes later I was with Isaac in the bathroom. He asked, "Mom, is pee a poisonous liquid?"
I started to get into nitrogenous waste and then, realizing that this was way over his head truncated my answer to "Yes, Isaac." (This is the problem with having a medical student Mom.) He then asked, "Mom does all poop come from bums?"
Me: "Yes, Isaac."
Isaac: "Oh, well then you don't want to eat poop, because you don't know what bum it came from . . . fox bums, doggy bums."
Me: "I can think of a couple other reasons you wouldn't want to eat poop."

Needless to say, Isaac is keeping us on our toes, and we love him for it.

Addendum: In regards to scenario #2, it has come to the author's attention that the anecdote might be misconstrued to mean that the author is currently gestating (pregnant). It must be noted that although the author may be "baby hungry" given her current state of affairs (completing her OB/GYN rotation and in contact with more than 8 friends currently gestating or in possession of a neonate), she has positively no intention of becoming "with child" any point in the near future and relieves herself of all responsibility for rumors, hopes or disapproval based on any misinterpretation of said scenario. I am NOT pregnant.

Happy Halloween!

Luckily, I finished my shelf exam for Peds Halloween morning, which meant I had the rest of the day to spend with the fam.

Aukai and I dressed up as "fire and ice."

Ashton didn't like his original costume, so we had a last minute change to Jack Frost. We made a sparkly wand that he swung around while saying "trick or treat." Everyone loved his hair.

Isaac flapping in his "pelican" costume. (Don't argue. :) )

Letchworth in the Fall

We have always been told that the perfect time to see Letchworth (also known as the Grand Canyon of the East) is in mid October. So . . . we decided to test it out. Unfortunately, several thousand other people had the same thought, but the weather was perfect and it was BEAUTIFUL!

Ashton enjoying a fall apple. I asked Ashton what his favorite color is this morning while driving home from church. Usually he will say orange (he is obsessed with orange) but today he paused for a minute, then said, "Umm . . . Jesus." It's good to know he is learning his 'sunday school answers.'

I think this speaks for itself. :)

Middle Falls.

Isaac inspecting a bug.

Isaac did us the service of reading this sign as follows: "No, no, no! This is an incredibly long waterfall. It is a very long way down. Do not sit on the rock wall. If you do, you will break your head open and fall. And then all the rest of it says 'you will fall in the water'." Needless to say, we didn't dare sit on the wall after a warning like that.

Why I fear for my amphibious neighbors . . .

It has recently been brought to my attention that terror has struck the brave frogs and toads who have taken up residence at Whipple Park. Truly leaders among their froggy kingdom, these spring-legged heroes are frequently abducted, held hostage in jars and buckets on tricycles, poked, prodded and squeezed. The worst part? Bystanders not only fail to intervene; they encourage such ruthless crimes by posting pictures on their blogs to "brag" about "how cute" the perpetrators are. In the name of toadanity and froggy rights, I propose that such acts be stopped immediately. Please spend a few moments to appreciate the following pieces of evidence:

Due to the intense cold, these prisoners did not have the metabolic means to jump free, despite the apparent open hand. Such images create the deception that these green citizens are content with the current state of affairs.

Do not be deceived by the sweet smile and pale blue eyes of this boy. Note the small froggy hostage in his left hand.

This picture carried the blatently inappropriate label "He's such a cutie."

This perpetrator takes the stance of a super-hero, apparently a frequent game of the oppressing state.

Inspecting their next victim . . .

Pirate Campout

Fisherman's Wharf.

So, these are all old, but what can I say, I'm catching up. On our way home from Oregon in July, we stopped at Fisherman's Wharf in San Fransisco. AMAZING! We loved San Fran, and hope to spend more time there in the future.

Just some fun pics.

Random, but if you care to know. . .

The past few weeks, I have had the opportunity to work with a number of inner city patients. I wanted to share a interaction that has been on my mind.

The man had been brought in drunk the night before after being found on the side of the road. It isn't clear whether he was attacked or whether he simply passed out. My team had been consulted because of suspected spinal chord injuries.

As I proceeded with my interview, the patient asked me if I was going to be a doctor. He then proceeded to tell me I would be well off, asking "What will you make when you're done, like 70 grand?" I smiled and said, "Something like that," embarrassed to tell him that he had underestimated my future income by about 50%.

As part of the curriculum, I recently read an article about the "hidden curriculum" of medical school. The article argued that many virtues that are sought after by medical admissions boards are extinguished by a hidden curriculum of exhausting hours, jaded attendings, and constant criticism. Of note, one of the problems it cited was a development of a sense of privilage among medical students. In other words, medical students are leaving school feeling that they deserve a good income, prestige and long vacations.

The comment caught me off gaurd because, after spending the last 6 years in school with 6 left to go, I feel like I deserve SOMETHING for all my hard work. After all, practicality has to fit into the equation.

Yet, after these past couple weeks, I wonder. I CHOSE a training program with exhausting hours, and I CHOOSE to stay in it each day. I can expect this choice to be rewarded by a comfortable income. In contrast, many of my patients work longer, more exausting hours than I. After 15 hours of monotonous work, they may return home to briefly rest and be with their family before starting all over again the next day. Their is often no hope of changing this pattern.

I am not saying that I think my time and efforts shouldn't be rewarded, but I guess I am seeing it a bit differently, perhaps more like I did two years ago when I started. In short, I think maybe we SHOULD be leaving medical school with a sense of privilage, but a different kind of privilage: the privilage to go to medical school, to be part of a culture where success and self-determination are the expectations, and to walk with patients in their most vulnerable and difficult moments.

And with that, I will get off of my soap box. Thanks for reading.

"I can't take it anymore!" (for reals this time)

When Ashton just can't handle it anymore . . .

"I can't take it anymore!

Picking Berries

One of favorite activities with the kids is going to pick fruit, so in my time off, we chose to devote an afternoon to berry picking. I would like everyone to take note of the bottom picture. I am in it!!! Hurrah! The kids have loved having their mom back. Isaac keeps sitting next to me and then scooting until he is almost on top of me. This is sweet, but it does make it a bit hard to spread butter or eat when a three-year-old is lying on your right arm.

Ashton Meets Elmo

Ashton loves Elmo, and so for his birthday we decided to get him a tickle-me Elmo doll. As we were unexpectedly out of town for his birthday, the left the present wrapped at home. The original plan was to wait until my parents came into town, but Aukai simply couldn't wait to surprize Ashton.

FREEDOM!!!

Yesterday I finished Step I! For those of you fortunate enough to be clueless as to what that means, think 2 months of studying (with a few traveling interruptions in my case), half of which was spent with 12-14 hour days!!
I now have 5 whole days to feel like a complete human being before starting back at the books. WAAAHOOOO!!! Just thought I'd share.

I'm Cute!

Yesterday, I was teasing Isaac because he can't stop talking about the little red-headed girl that just moved in. I asked him "Do you have a crush on our new neighbor?"
He suddenly got very serious. "What's a crush, Mom?"
"Umm." (I struggled with this one.) "It's when you think someone is cute."
"Oh." he said. "Well then I have a crush on you, Mom."

It's always nice to know your son is your biggest fan.

A random thought.

Ashton's language skills have been exploding this past month. He is starting to put several words together, sing songs and use "catch phrases," often incorrectly. These past few days he has chosen the phrase "Mommy! Where are you?" (asked in a somewhat desperate tone) to say "I want you to focus on me." While I don't assume that he understands the connotation of that usage, it seemed terribly appropriate and has caused me to reflect. I tend to microfocus. My husband teases me, rightfully so, that when I get focused on some project it is as if he isn't even in the room. With boards coming up, most of my time has been spent trying to multitask studying and family in a way that is not always successful. Ashton's sweet pleas have acted as a reminder to me that being present and being physically near are not necessarily synonymous.

My dear friend Melissa talks about the French's commitment to the present. Experience has showed her that, when with others, they are not rushed to get to their next appointment or distracted by their prior engagement; they are entirely focused on what is happening in that moment. Of course, it probably doesn't hurt that she is an attractive young woman well versed in their language and culture. Yet it is a reminder that it is only in the here and now that true friendship can flourish; that we would all do better if we took a moment's breath to return to the place that CS Lewis called closest to eternity, the present, and by doing so ensure that we are truly present for our loved ones.

Playing at Riverside Park

Every year, the Riordan boys leave on a 5 day campout. One rule is that no child can come who is not capable of taking care of him or herself, which means that the sister-in-laws are left home with a whole den full of children under the age of 12. Despite the obvious challenges this poses, I have come to look forward to this time each year to bond with my Riordan sisters and reunite with my kids. Today Laurel, Andrea and I (along with 5 rambunctious little ones) took a brave trip to Riverside Park to feed the ducks and play on the playground. Benjamin, Ashton and Samuel peaking out the "tractor" window.
Isaac playing in the "tractor" scoop.

Isaac discovered this toy for the first time. He is finally tall enough to jump and reach the ring, but often lacks the momentum to get to the other side. Although he usually got stuck 1/2 way, he loved it!

Ashton peeking around a railroad tie.

Ashton was much more brave about swinging from the bar above the slide than actually going down the slide.

Picking Cherries

Who needs a ladder when you can pick cherries like this?

Thanks for blankets.

Ashton has just started trying to pray on his own, usually consisting of "Hevely Fada, mumble mumble mumble, amen." A few days ago, we were getting ready for bed, when Ashton decided he was thirsty. After a glass of water, he asked to be tucked in a blanket, and then said the following prayer.

"Dee' Hevely Fada'. Mumble, mumble water. Mumble, mumble blanket. Mumble Jesus Cwis', Amen."

It was the first time he really put together his surroundings into a prayer. It is so wonderful to feel his appreciation for the world around him.

Ashton turns two.

Happy birthday Ashton! (June 15th)

Sleeping with a sugar daddy . . . what could be better. (He tie-dyed the shirt the previous day.)

We had dinner at Uncle John's and Aunt Ari's house. While grilling, the boys found this "twin cob."

Ashton was so happy when we started singing. He loves being the center of attention. He picked a fight with a church bench that morning. I think a close look at his nose clearly reveals who came out victorious.

He made a huge mess with his cupcake. I started wiping his face, then noticed goo all over the chair. It wasn't until I stuck my finger in the "frosting" that I realized it was diarrhea, not cupcake.

We had to carry him by his hands and feet to the tub for a hose down, which was probably the highlight of his day. Ashton is a very happy kid, and a joy to have in our home!